despite you

This was about hate, now it is about happiness. This was about disappointment, now it is about joy. This was about disgust, now it is about beauty. This was the pain you caused, now it is the life I will live anyway. Despite you.
When the sky turns to a pale pink and the clouds shine white against the setting sun I feel the energy that seems to be souring through the world. I see potential, I see beauty, I feel life. I understand G-d a little more than I did a moment ago. And suddenly I am filled with the desire to see everything this world has to show me and to find another bit of understanding in it; to find another bit of G-d.
Many parts of my life have come full circle. I feel so many of my ideas and thoughts finishing their path of questioning and learning and forming themselves into definite opinions and lifestyles; into complete circles that will now forever spin inside of me and define who I am and who I will become. I see these details, that only a moment ago where lines of life, coming together at one point and joining to form a shape so round and so perfect that I know even the strongest hardships will not break the bond.
I feel myself moving on. Growing up. Slowly, there is still a long way to go. I feel myself beginning to gather the courage and strength it will take me to go out into the world and be strong in who I am. I see more clearly what I want and why I want it. I see the place that G-d will continue to have in my life. I feel myself coming closer to Him and I shiver with anticipation at the thought of how much closer the next months will bring me.
And all despite you. Despite what you did and who you are. Despite who you pretended to be. Despite your lies and your fear, that sadly represent such a large majority of our world. Despite you and all others like you I will be strong. Despite the evil that I see in you I will not break as you did. You did not stand beside me in my battle, as you promised you would, only because you had already given your name to the enemy. But despite you I will still fight, and I will still win. For you blamed your defeat on the strength of the enemies when you failed to sharpen your sword. But I will take my love, my courage, my fear, my strengths, my weaknesses, my pain, my life, and my skill and I will win.
G-d gave me life and I intend to live it. He gave me a chance to have knowledge and I plan on learning all He can teach me. G-d gave me so many blessings and I do not blind my eyes from seeing it. He gave me a purpose and I will complete it. All despite you.