and so I dance

They are lying side by side in the bassinet. They are each wrapped in two blankets and sleeping peacefully. Their little bodies all warm and soft. Their little lungs working perfectly, thank G-d. I take her in my arms and she weighs practically nothing, but she is worth so much. Her eyes slowly close, her breathing calms, and she falls asleep. The tears that are forming in my eyes coincide with the feeling in my heart that makes me want to hold her forever. To just sit and watch them forever. He has a strong face, with intense eyes. She is delicate, with big cheeks and a sweet nose. Their eyes are small and unseeing, yet they know everything.
And as one small tear of joy falls down my cheek I whisper to my creator and to theirs, "baruch she'asah li et haness hazot." Blessed be the One that made this miracle for me. And they are not even my miracle. They are the miracles of two lucky parents, two loving parents. Two amazing people who have come through so much. Two people who care enough for us that they have allowed us to join their family forever and to partake in this miracle.
Even though they were so light my arms feel empty when I put them down. Even though we are all squeezed on one bed and they are just laying there we cannot seem to tare our eyes. Even though their life has just started we treasure each moment as if they will not have a million more.

There are times when something will happen, or someone will happen, and your heart miraculously feels a little more full. But the funny thing is that you did not notice that emptiness before, you did not even notice that space in your heart. Now that it is full you feel as if your heart has expanded when it really has not changed at all. I wonder how two little babies can cause so much change inside of all of us.
G-d has given me so much and yet He continues to give me more. I have a never ending pile of good that contains every blessing I have ever received. It contains beauty and joy, laughter and the feeling of a soft kiss on your cheek. It contains pain and sorrow, heartache and sadness. For you see, those are blessings too. I am constantly faced with more and more blessing, and I wonder what I do to deserve such good. I wonder what blessing I could possibly utter, what words of praise will ever be strong enough to express my thanks to HaShem.
I wonder if there will ever be anything large enough, anything powerful enough, anything strong enough and beautiful enough to really show my thanks to G-d. And then I realize that there is. These two babies, pure perfect and strong, are waiting to be raised. They will be raised with G-d on their lips and in their hearts. They will be raised with laughter and with joy. And they are created in the form of the One I want to thank. What better thanks than to do His form justice.
Life is the greatest praise we have. Life is the greatest challenge as well. To live, not merely to exist, there is only one way: HaShem. The Torah is life, the mitzvot are life. Without these I will not be living. It is my safety and my adventure. It is my knowledge and my stupidity. It is my achievements and my down falls. It is who I am and who I am waiting to be.
It is everything. It is the entire world and it was written for me.

"Vatikach Miriam Haniveah, achot Aaron hakohen, et hataf b'yadeha v'teitzei kol hanashim achareha bitupim ubimcholot." They went out with song and with dance, with their drums and their hearts and they thanked G-d for the miracles they had seen. After hundreds of years of slavery and centuries of pain they smiled at HaShem and said proudly, "ZE keili v'anvehu" this is my G-d and there is no other.
And so I dance. I dance for their miracles and for mine. I dance for the miracle of music and the miracle of movement. And I have found my form of praise.

.......and as my feet touch the ground, following the rhythmic pattern of the music, I am reminded of so much more blessing: Of my feet and my hands that make the pattern of my movements. Of my ears that hear the songs of my soul. Of my heart that beats along with the music, my own drum. Of my voice that creates the music, that sings praise to my only G-d, softly singing, "bless the One that made this miracle for me."

And their eyes flutter in their sleep as I bring my hands to rest at my sides. And I know they are dreaming of HaShem. Of the only home their souls have ever known until now. And I know that we will try to make this home as much like their first one as humanly possible. And I know that through that they will truly live.